3rd. It was probably the fact we rose above the low lying mist into the relative pleasantness of Lordstones car park which lulled us into a false sense of security, lingering over a pre-ride coffee, we congratulated ourselves on leaving the sea-level murk behind and leisurely faffed about prior to leaving the car park. Uncanny coincidences being what they are, as soon as we cocked legs over crossbars the mist plumed up from the valley, enveloping us in a moist fug, which soon passed through drizzle to become the sort of ever-present rain more generally found in the Lake District. Undaunted, we pedalled up Carlton Bank and made our way, somewhat cheekily, to Huthwaite Green on the Scugdale road. Conditions being what they were, any further moor top riding was vetoed in favour of a slight off-road detour through Cow Shit Farm (so called after Simon’s unfortunate slurry/leg incident in TTB 12) and back onto the Scugdale road which we followed to the end. Shouldering our bikes we plodded up the gloopy BOAT to the col at Stoney Wickes, where the lashing rain and wind prompted an unspoken but unanimous decision to surround ourselves with café as soon as possible. The most preferential way being to keep on the BOAT down Raisdale Mill Lane and onto the Raisdale Road directly back to Lordstones. Raisdale Mill Lane, despite being a Bridleway Open To All Traffic was, in parts, pretty much unridable on a mountain bike, mainly owing to the water-damage, although our lack of skill, technique and tenacity may have had something to do with it. Working on the theory we couldn’t get any wetter, we plunged down regardless to Raisdale Mill cottages to join the road and a steady couple of miles up hill back to Lordstones.

10^th. Today’s route was remarkably similar to the previous one, except a little more cheeky at the beginning although the weather was substantially better. If only we’d known what the rest of the month would bring we may have appreciated it a little more. From the col at Stoney Wickes we continued up Barker’s Ridge and along muddy tracks to the Bilsdale Mast where, judging by the amount of vehicles, they were having an early Xmas party. We freewheeled down the access road at an unwise velocity, especially for Oz who rounded the last bend to find the gate that’s never shut firmly locked, the invention of disc brakes saved him from a buckled wheel/broken nose/fractured vertebrae (*delete as appropriate). Enough excitement, not to mention mud-plugging, for one day, we decided to have a few sneaky road miles to boost our yearly total and made our way via tarmac back to Lordstones.

18^th What is they always like to say about a couple of inches of snow bringing the country to a halt? It’s all true. This ride was to set the tone for the remainder of the month, that is lots of white and very little pedalling. Me and Oz met Martin in Kildale station car park, the paucity of tracks in the snow, car, bike, foot or otherwise ought to have served as a warning but we pedalled off undaunted. Things started innocuously enough on snow-covered tarmac to New Row and a steady push up through the trees to Percy Cross Rigg, which we followed, pedalling into a steadily increasing blizzard, to Hutton Moor and the top of The Unsuitables, unwilling to lose any height, we skirted the edge of what’s left of Guisborough Woods to Newton Moor and down to Roseberry Common via the small hill known locally as Little Roseberry. This proved to be “challenging” in the prevailing conditions but we made it to the common relatively unscathed. The downhill track to Dikes Lane via Aireyholme Farm was taken with more caution than usual and the bridleway to Mill Bank Woods was taken with rather less riding than usual until Mill Bank Woods, which was at least ridable. Despite the mileage not even reaching double figures, our bodies were telling us otherwise as we replenished our carbs in Glebe Cottage before the arduous 350 metres back to the car park, where some even more arduous pushing of the 4 wheeled Ford Mondeo variety was required to get us out of the car park and back to the main road.

22^nd. Possibly the best attended ride this year and also the Christmas dinner ride, can that be a coincidence? Two illnesses and a broken satellite dish put paid to three riders, broken satellite dish has got to go down in history as one of the worst ever excuses for not turning out. However a more pressing problem to us who favour riding over television turned out to be the large snow and ice covered bank between us and our Christmas dinner, 5 cars and not a 4 wheel drive between us meant parking down in Carlton village and keeping our fingers crossed that the all important cooks would risk life and limb to feed us later in the day. Quickly replanning the route saw us pedalling along the road to Faceby and turning left along a glassy Bank Lane and up through a field, following the bridleway into Faceby Plantation and a slippy downhill to Huthwaite Green. Some more glassy tarmac took us to Cow Shit Farm for the third time this month, where the deep and crisp and even whiteness hid the Right Of Way, some blundering about in the snow later we were headed in the right direction, eventually rejoining the Scugdale Road. As in the first ride of the month, the col at Stoney Wickes proved a transition point and Raisdale Mill Lane was again chosen as an entertaining escape route. And very entertaining it proved to be, the usual deep ruts hidden beneath the snow making riding more a game of chance - the odds heavily stacked in the track’s favour. Highlight of the ride has to be Simon being ejected from his bike, airborne trajectory being hindered somewhat by an unyielding dry-stone wall. Good job it was there, he could have hurt himself. We made it to the Raisdale Road with a few more minor incidents but nothing as hilarious as a thirty year old man flying head first into a stone wall. Our hearts were in our mouths all the way up the ice-covered Raisdale Road. What if the café isn’t open? Fortunately the staff are made of sterner stuff and it wasn’t long before we had paper hats on heads and crackers in hands, tucking into enough food to quell our ravenous stomachs. Of course, we still had to ride down Carlton Bank back to our cars, which had it’s moments, more of a barely controlled slide than a ride but we all emerged unscathed.

31^st Last day of the year and last ride of the year, Captain Slow, satellite dish now firmly fixed to the wall, emerged from his month long hiatus to join me and Oz at Pinchinthorpe Visitor Centre. The new skating rink where the car park used to be ought to have served as a warning etc. etc. (see earlier in the month) but learning by our mistakes is not one of our strong points, particularly as we were dazzled by Chris’s new cycling jacket which definitely made him look the part if nothing else. We made our way directly to Roseberry Common via Bousdale Farm, avoiding the ice-covered fire roads, higher up the ice was beneath a thin layer of crusty snow which provided a semblance of traction. The short slope to the level part of the common proved a unrideable to all but Chris who’s “Jacket Of Power” allowed him to cruise up where he formerly the Cannondale Push would have been living up to it’s nickname. The section, up Little Roseberry and on to Newton Moor was hiked with barely a pedal turned by any of us. Newton Moor was quite busy compared to our normal weekday jaunts, poor unfortunate day workers enjoying their last day of freedom. Along the top of Guisborough Woods to The Unsuitables and over Percy Cross Rigg proved to be completely ridable, as did the Lonsdale Bowl and Finger-bender Bank to Gribdale. The “Jacket Of Power” was evidently depleted by this stage in the ride, the Captain being all but invisible without binoculars. Regrouping at Gribdale we freewheeled into Great Ayton in search if a café, the first two we tried were shut (at 1:30 on a Thursday afternoon?) but the ever reliable Suggits was open. Inside a young woman with considerably more adipose tissue than the whole population of Ethiopia, amazed staff and customers by purchasing a carrier bag full of assorted sweets and three 99’s as a blizzard raged outside. Probably glandular then. Having had enough of battling through ice and snow drifts we took the road option back to Pinchinthorpe.