Tuesday 4th December 2012. Mileage 12.5. Ascent 1,621 ft

Welcome to the land of ice and snow, if my physiotherapist could have seen me riding a bike across sheet ice, on the verge of balance, she would undoubtedly have been less than impressed. Owing to the conditions, our first three rides this month began from Pinchinthorpe, being easy to reach and little chance of being stuck - nothing to do with the car park being free all December. On the first ride the fireroads had achieved a glassy sheen which required careful pedalling to prevent body ice interaction. An unfortunate lady ahead of us had fallen from her bike and slid back down one of the banks on her derriere, prompting The Pensioner to opine she would have escaped injury owing to her ample natural padding (or words to that effect). Perhaps he ought to have saved his observation till the lady in question was out of earshot.

Wednesday 5th December 2012. Mileage 9. Ascent 1,394 ft

The following day we were joined by The Captain venturing out for the first time since July or something, unfortunately we were also joined by snow. Now a bike ride with snow is usually okay and a bike ride with The Captain is not so bad but both in the same ride is a combination to be avoided, especially when The Captain's maintenance deprived bicycle decided it's drivetrain couldn't actually be bothered to turn the back wheel. On the odd occasion he tried to pedal, the chain flung itself off the cassette in protest at the unaccustomed effort. Factor in a virtual white out and a howling blizzard and things began to look a bit dodgy. Somehow how we managed to ride/slide/push our way around 9 miles of Guisborough's finest, taking in a deserted Gribdale, car-less under a blanket of snow, where we had ample time to amass a battery of snowballs ready to assault The Captain when he (eventually) turned up.

Friday 7th December 2012. Mileage 10. Ascent 1,568 ft

The third day of Arctic riding began inauspiciously with The Pensioner managing to hit the deck within metres of the car park, landing at the feet of a young family when he failed to ride up an icy slope. The rest of the ride continued in a similar vein, although without yesterday's blizzards. Sugar snow sums it up, that dreadful, sticky semi-thawed mush that is impossible to ski or snowboard in and much harder to cycle through. Ten miles seemed to take as much effort as a thirty mile summer ride.

Monday 10th December 2012. Mileage 12.5. Ascent 1,450 ft

Two days later and it was different again, sunny and almost pleasant, apart from one face-lacerating hail storm. A Kildale start ensured we missed out on the frozen fire roads from last week. A steady plod up Percy Cross Rigg, a quick scrounge about some of Guisborough Woods’ favourite tracks and back to Kildale for the cafe, Jordan, somewhat complacent following ten days in relatively tropical Bristol, found out the finer details of ice -riding on one of the shaded fire roads which still sported a coating of verglas. Keep upright, don't steer, don't touch the brakes, fall off anyway then flounder about trying to stand up again as your companions break ribs laughing.

Sunday 16th December 2012. Mileage 14.5. Ascent 2,001 ft

Our most well-attended ride of the year - so it must be Xmas dinner day. Nine of us assembled in a surprisingly sunny Ingleby Greenhow, the eleven am start pushed back half an hour as we chatted and assembled bikes, delaying the inevitable tarmac slog up to Clay Bank, then the long haul up Carr Ridge steps onto Urra Moor. From here we entered the clouds which clung persistently to the high moor tops, reducing visibility and temperature, chat stops became briefer, reduced to waiting for The Pensioner to loom out of the gloom before we quickly remounted and carried on - much to The Pensioner’s chagrin. The normally speedy moorland tracks were suffering the effects of this year’s deluge making them akin to riding through wet sand, slightly noticeable on the descent to Tripsdale, a whole world of pain on the ascent and subsequent pedal back to the main track on Urra Moor, our granny rings took some abuse but considerably less abuse than the fool who’d planned the route. The hardships were forgotten as we - oxymoron alert - cautiously hurtled down The Incline towards our dinners. Safely ensconced behind pints of Dudley Ale, we were joined by The Ginger One, who apparently regards playing Sunday morning football with a bunch of like-minded “sportsmen” a credible alternative to riding a bike with us true athletes. The dinner, provided by The Dudley Arms was superb, just the thing after a gruelling 14.5 miles.

Monday 17th December 2012. Mileage 10.5. Ascent 1,413 ft

The following day some hard core riders were braving the elements again with another Kildale start and another ride through soft ground to Guisborough Woods and back to Kildale via Captain Cook’s monument. Another short ride which felt considerably longer owing to the ground conditions, barely enough to justify the suitcase-sized corned beef and pickle sandwich in Glebe Cottage but let’s leave the calorie counting to the supermodels.

Friday 28th December 2012. Mileage 10.5. Ascent 1,399 ft

Eleven days later a bunch of us repeated the previous ride, for no other reason than a desire to be out in the open air following the Xmas excesses. It was one of those winter days when it doesn't have the energy to become light, remaining dull and grey for the duration of the ride but we were fortunate to chance upon a break in the perpetual rain which has deluged the country for most of December, new lakes are appearing every day, paths and bridleways are being destroyed by the torrents pouring down them, floods and landslides are everyday occurrences. We've ran out of Noah jokes. But today the rain gave it a rest for the few hours we were out and just left the wind to try and destroy us. Unsurfaced tracks are quagmires, surfaced tracks are mostly submerged, pedalling is like travelling through glue. Could've been worse - could've been at home doing 'family' things.

Terra Trailblazers December 2012 riding from John Lavelle on Vimeo.