Friday 1st February 2013. 26 miles. 1,136 ft ascent. Ride map.
First day of the month, first Billy No Mates ride and first BNQ (before nights quicky) of the year. Had no ride planned for today but the weather was so good it would have been a sin to waste the day. Nothing out of the ordinary, took the cross bike and did a 15 mile or so road loop around Redmarshall and Bishopton before going offroad at the Castle Eden Walkway, which instantly halved my average speed. Followed another track through Wynayrd Woods which brought me to Wynyard housing estate which petered out at a building site, where I was a source of great amusement to the workers as I blundered about in mud and brambles trying to find a way through.

Monday 4th February 2013. 24 miles. 1,152 ft ascent. Ride map
Cross bike Monday, a chance for us who own cyclo-cross bikes to get out and use them as they are intended. A depleted bunch convened at Pinchinthorpe Visitor Centre, only me, Darlo Boy and The Pensioner who turned up with his mountain bike because he couldn’t be bothered to pump up the tyre on his cross bike. Our route took us from the visitor centre in a completely different direction to normal, we rode west along the old rail track back towards Nunthorpe, eventually joining the road which we followed to Poole Roundabout, then on through Nunthorpe Village to The Treebridge Hotel. The appetising cooking smell coming from kitchen almost halted the ride but we managed to drag Darlo Boy away and along a very minor road to join the B1365 at Castle Hill. Crossing the road we pressed on in a leisurely fashion until we reached Seamer, where we turned left and followed the road to Stokesley, bypassing tempting cafes and the shop full of shiny bikes in the High Street, leading us not into temptation, by riding along Thirsk Road to the A172. From here we followed another minor road which joined Busby Lane, leading us through Kirkby to Great Broughton, then Ingleby Greenhow, passing some substantial snow drifts on the sheltered side of the road. More tarmac took us to Little Ayton, where we began climbing steadily, passing Brookside Farm, crossing Dikes Lane and plodding on upward to Aireyholme Farm and ultimately Roseberry Common, where things became, how shall we say? Interesting? Challenging? Ruts and mud combined with drop handlebars, skinny tyres and barely effective cantilever brakes - it was certainly different from a full sus mtb with 2.5” tyres. Good for technique, leg strength or merely testing who is the most stupid, we eventually made it to the relative smoothness of Guisborough Woods’ fireroad and gratefully allowed it to lead us to the cafe.

Wednesday 6th February 2013. 28 miles. 1,000 ft ascent. Ride map
Another lonesome ride, after listening to the gruesome and graphic details of The Pensioner’s gastrointestinal malady I was feeling quite queasy myself, as though the germs could infect me through a phone call. Regardless of the images scarring my brain and the gusting wind, I took the cross bike out for another spin around the Wynyard Estate, the Woodland Park and the small villages to the north of Thorpe Thewles. Due to some cruel weather anomaly 90% of this ride was spent riding into the wind, how that can happen on a circular ride I’ve no idea but that’s certainly what it seems like. At one point I was literally inching forward against the headwind.

Thursday 7th February 2013. 15.5 miles. 1,747 ft ascent Ride map
Back on the mountain bikes today, we even managed a team of four today, Oz dragging his reluctant body out into the cold, Andy excused bun fondling duties for the day and The Pensioner, only partially recovered (in his opinion) from yesterday’s unpleasantness, getting his poor performance justifications in before we’d even set off. “I’ve been ill you know. I’m still not right.” Implying he has ever been right? Still a lot of ice about in the car park at Sheepwash, which didn’t bode well for higher up. We made our way up through the woods above Cod Beck reservoir to High Lane and onward past Chequers to Square Corner. Breaking the ice on the puddles on the track to Silton Woods, we continued through the woods, exercising some degree of caution on the steep and intermittently icy fire road. Roads through the bottom of the valley took us to Kepwick and a breather before the dreaded bank, time for Andy to lose his Kepwick Bank virginity. It was just as hard as it ever was, the granny ring was soiled within minutes, the spectacularly steep hairpin before the gate was covered in ice, eliciting falls from three quarters of our team. At the gate another breather was taken and a chance for some of us to lose a layer, Andy showing his mettle by stripping to shirtsleeves despite the snow. And onwards we plodded, eventually reaching The Drove Road breathless and perspiring, The Pensioner bring up the rear, “I haven’t been well you know...” The Drove Road was covered in snow but nothing like the depth we were expecting, which was a pleasant surprise and we were able to ride unhindered all the way to The Mad Mile. The sanitised Mad Mile, now resurfaced with all the slabs and big drops taken out, although the snow and ice did make it more interesting than it would be normally. Still it was downhill, as was the following road which led us to Osmotherley and a new cafe for us try/dirty/despoil (delete as applicable). Osmotherley Boot And Coffee Shop and very nice it was too, the staff were not the least bit fazed by the sight of four mud-spattered cyclists heading for their cream leather seating. Hopefully it’s wipe clean. Knowing we only had the short ride back to Sheepwash we lingered over our snacks enjoying the warmth of the cafe after a day of snow and ice. Finally venturing out into the cold, The Pensioner found his front tyre was flat, we sat about some more, watching his big cow’s-tit fingers blundering about changing a tube whilst banging his head repeatedly on a nearby hanging basket. Some profanity ensued.


Friday 8th February 2013. 12 miles. 1,304 ascent. Ride map
Another day of forecast defying saw us assembling bikes in a snow-covered Kildale Station car park, Me, The Pensioner, Marty and Andy raring to go. Well not before Marty had got to hear about The Pensioner’s illness, seeing as he wasn’t with us yesterday. A road warm up, ascending Percy Cross Rigg, brought us to the gate at the top of The Unsuitables, where we took a breather and chatted to a fell runner wearing, despite the cold, some indecently short shorts. Conditions were not ideal for biking or running, crunchy snow overlaying ice, traction and steering becoming optional extras at times. We made our way across Newton Moor and descended Little Roseberry by the rocky side, even more interesting today as most of the rocks were covered in a thin layer of ice. There were even a few outbreaks of common sense, as we pushed some sections, the ice turned to mud lower down, entering Guisborough Woods, reverting to winter conditions on the long fireroad bash up to Highcliffe Nab. The last steep section past the cliff was only just rideable except for Mr. I Haven’t Been Well You Know, who regressed to pedestrianism. Codhill Heights was harder work than usual, owing to the conditions but at least we were heading toward the cafe. Our final descent was New Row, oddly enough the best bit of track we’d ridden all day, nicely consolidated and barely any snow cover. All that remained was a furious dash along the road to prevent us being “ninja assassinated” by The Pensioner, who couldn’t catch us anyway because he hasn’t been well you know.

Monday 11th February 2013. 26 miles. 1,878 ft ascent. Ride map
Another cross bike Monday and we were once again in the car park at Kildale station, the very cold, slippy car park, North Yorkshire being a few degrees colder than balmy Teesside. The Pensioner, Darlo Boy and Les were today’s team, eager to take on snow-covered bridleways and ice-sheathed carriageways, to crush hills and push their bodies to the limit, fuelled by the thought of a Glebe Cottage sandwich as their reward. Except The Pensioner because he’s not been well you know. We rode from Kildale to Ingleby Greenhow on tarmac, downhill, wind behind which made us the cycling gods we’ve always been sure we are, at Bank Foot farm we took the old railway track to the steep and snow-covered Incline, shirking the challenge we continued through the woods to Clay Bank car park. The fire road through the woods was predominantly snow and ice, the section of tarmac to the car park at Clay Bank was the same, steady pedalling was required to maintain traction. Two cyclists who were planning to ride down the road heeded our advice and went down Clay Bank instead, we headed down the other side of the bank to Chop Gate, then plodded up the Raisdale Road to Lordstones. The still closed Lordstones, not much seems to have happened in the 18 months or so since it changed hands, other than a chunk of hillside being dug out. A rather less than carefree descent of Carlton Bank followed, road conditions dictating the pace, from the bottom we returned to Kildale via, Great Broughton, Ingleby Greenhow and Battersby. The final stretch back into Kildale was against the most ferocious headwind of the day, almost reducing grown men to tears. And reducing The Darlo Boy to a dot in the distance, he came into the cafe with some old waffle about stopping to answer his phone but we weren't fooled, his pedalling premature ejaculation had let him down again. Us old gadgies know how to pace ourselves.

Tuesday 12th February 2013. 24.5 miles. 1,126 ft ascent. Ride map
The next day saw three of us assembling at Norton duck pond so Les could be introduced to some of the lesser known tracks around his home village. We took a similar route to some of last month's local rides, going off-road from the end of Station Road, following rough tracks until Wynyard Road, Les used the lack of the usual headwind on this stretch to get a PB on Strava before we once again turned through The Golden Gates and through the land of the heavily mortgaged until we found the muddy track into Tilery Wood, The Pensioner's profanity rent the exclusive air as his back wheel struggled for traction, most of his curses directed at whoever thought cross bikes would be a good idea for the conditions. Fortunately the unpleasantness was short lived as the mud soon gave way to the old rail track, shortly later we were in the cafe, The Pensioner still expounding on the unsuitability of his cross bike for, well, pretty much everything to be honest. Strange, it was perfectly fine when he rode it 180 odd miles across country last year. Suitably refreshed we continued along the cycle tracks through Stockton, passing from the heroin flecked alleyways of the north to the leafy suburbs of the south. Soon we were once again lurking around the back of the Warburtons bread factory like some sort of yeast fetishists, trying to spot Andy doing a bit of bun fondling. Our next stop was at Stockton’s newest cycling emporium, Stockton Cycling And Running, an urban branch of Biketraks from Great Ayton. Some shiny bike syndrome ensued, as we idled away half an hour squeezing tyres and flattening batteries on Di2 groupsets. Good shop though and Gordon’s a good bloke, always willing to do a deal. We rode home by our usual route, passing the Mecca Bingo smoker cage, which always amuses us.

Friday 15th February 2013. 26 miles. 1,012 ft ascent. Ride map
This ride began as a gentle before nights quicky to get some miles in around the villages between Billingham and Darlington, until I was unexpectedly accosted by Climbing Simon, out for his inaugural ride on his new baby, the Cannondale Supersix. The pace increased despite me being twice his age, stopping only once, so I could shed a layer as sweat was running into my eyes - in February. That rarest of things - process operator sweat, if the shop steward finds out I’ll be excommunicated.

Monday 18th February 2013. 20.5 miles. 1,616 ft ascent. Ride map
Another cross bike Monday, I had a lovely route planned for the three of us, it all went we wrong when Birk Brow car park was closed for resurfacing. Some hasty texting and we reconvened at Scaling Dam, from where I tried to salvage some of the original route. Unfortunately this did involve our usual MTB start, to Greenhouses via High Tranmire Farm, it was somewhat testing on cross bikes but still easier than the last time, when we were ploughing through snow drifts. Reacquainting ourselves with tarmac, we headed through Lealholmside to some steep and muddy offroad followed by a crossing of the river Esk, unbeknownst to Jordan and Darlo Boy, the lowest point of our ride. Uphill from here, firstly to Glaisdale, we stopped en route for the first puncture of the day, it was so pleasant in the sunshine - yes it does say sunshine - Darlo Boy's inept fumbling attempt at changing a tube only delayed the uphill drag into Glaisdale. From where we promptly went back downhill to Lealholm following the road to Houlsyke but not before it was my turn for a bit of inept fumbling. A brace of thorns in my tyre, lots of hedge trimming going on at this time of year. The next objective was the 14th century Duck Bridge on the outskirts of Danby' built when The Pensioner was nobbut a lad. A short pedal from here brought us to Ainthorpe, then we continued to The Stonehouse Bakery in Danby, where we had to sit outside owing to an influx of tourists, half term, sunshine and all that. A muddy traverse of Danby Park helped to burn off some of the calorie consumption, followed by a slog up the road to Three Howes Rigg, where we turned onto Robin Hood's Butts, only marginally drier than last time we rode it - wet feet all round. A bit more road followed, to Scaling Dam, then we rode along the dam again back to the car park.

Tuesday 19th February 2013. 10.5 miles. 1,316 ft ascent. Ride map
Had us a new starter today, and an old irregular who may as well have been a new starter. Scott, 17 years old and venturing out for his first ever mountain bike ride on his new Cube 29er and The Captain, 59 years old, venturing out for his first ride this year. The performance of one significantly outclassed the other. The majority of the ride was spent waiting for The Captain, 23 stops in 10.5 miles. Our route attempted to utilise anything approaching a firm track between Kildale and Guisborough Woods, not that easy considering the amount of moisture which has been shed on the moors over the last few months. We managed to let Scott have an appreciation of the lung-burning ascents and smile-inducing descents plus he gave himself a crash course in parting company with the bike. Having about 80 psi in each tyre probably didn't,t help.

Wednesday 20th February 2013. 50 miles. 1,768 ft ascent. Ride map
Time for another road ride and our first venture up Clay Bank this year and everyone managed okay despite the motorists who seemed to take exception to a half-blind pensioner weaving his way along the B1257. Our snack stop was No. 5 Coffee House in Great Ayton, excellent as usual.


Tuesday 26th February 2013. 25 miles. 1,087 ft ascent. Ride Map
Back to the cross bikes today, I met up with Les and Jordan at Pinchinthorpe for a reprise of the ride we done on the 4th of this month. The lane from The Treebridge Hotel to Tanton was being hedge-trimmed; Jordan managed simultaneous front and rear punctures courtesy of the numerous thorns scattered across the road. The muddy descent of Roseberry Common leading into Guisborough Woods came as a shock to Les, who doesn’t come from a mountainbiking background. Before too long the same mud was being dripped on the floor of The Branch Walkway cafe (formerly The Purple Mountain Cafe) at Pinchinthorpe.

Wednesday 27th February 2013. 10.5 miles. 1,316 ft ascent. Ride map
Certain sections of this ride will be recorded in the annals of the Terra Trailblazers and never be spoken of again - it really was that grim. When we met in Chop Gate car park, it was cold but surprisingly sunny, our road warm up was pleasant, up the Raisdale Road to the Beak Hills turn off, then up the Beak Hills road to The Fronts from where we intended to head westward to Lordstones, optimistically figuring the open section would be less muddy than the going eastwards through the wooded section. It started well, the track was slightly damp but flowing nicely before we’d gone much further, nothing was flowing, nicely or otherwise, nor was anything turning, bikes completely clogged with mud, greasy, sticky, cloying mud, building up on tyres, frames and forks until pedalling was replaced with pushing or carrying, both hernia-inducing activities with bikes doubled or tripled in weight by the additional mud. After some considerable time and a great deal of profanity, we reached Lordstones. It was lucky The Pensioner was away introducing the French to his idiosyncrasies because his comforter would definitely have left the perambulator. Lordstones is still closed although a serious amount of digging has occurred behind the cafe building - it’ll be nice to see it finished. Onwards and upwards we went, up the gliding club access track on Carlton Bank, past Brian’s Pond and eventually up Barker’s Ridge, the tracks here are slightly stony, the mud was draggy but at least it didn’t take up residence on our bikes. Despite the brevity of the ride we were all glad to reach Cock Howe - the start of our descent, a well earned, gravity-assisted mile or so of downhill pleasure. We headed directly to The Buck Inn to replace the lost calories.

Thursday 28th February 2013. 62.5 miles. 3,334 ft ascent. Ride Map
A big ride, with big hills, for big men. Suffice to say only me and Jordan turned up, everyone else suddenly otherwise indisposed and we were wondering what the hell we were doing. From our usual meeting place - the Audi garage, we rode directly to Great Ayton, uncharacteristically bypassing the cafes and ploughing straight along Station Road and up the nasty hill to Gribdale Gate, where we treated ourselves to a breather at the car park. The next hill took us over to Kildale and past Glebe Cottage - closed Thursdays, we continued through Battersby to Ingleby Greenhow and our next date with gravity, the road up to the summit of Clay Bank, which sucumbed to swearing, spitting and the occasional bout of pedal-stomping. Another breather in another car park followed prior to a 40 mph descent  ( for those young and foolish enough) down to yesterday’s village, Chop Gate. No stopping at the pub this time, as we reintroduced our legs to the Raisdale Road, pedalling all the way to the top of Carlton Bank today. And that was the climbing done (almost). We made our way through the lowlands of Faceby and Hutton Rudby to East Rounton for sustenance at the well recommended Roots Farm Shop, surprisingly busy for 2 pm on a Thursday afternoon, must’ve been the sunshine. From here we pedalled to Yarm and surely the last hill of the day - Leven Bank, reacquainting ourselves with the cycle tracks through Ingleby Barwick. A unanimous decision was made to take it easy from here, as the pace had been rather brisk for trainee roadies like us but then another cyclist overtook us...

Terra Trailblazers February 2013 riding from John Lavelle on Vimeo.