It’s round to that time again - the first ride of the year, a magical time of excitement and anticipation, the beginning, another whole year of cycling possibilities unfurling ahead of us, like a ribbon of perfect singletrack stretching tantalisingly into the distance. Or, more likely, a rain-lashed, mud-slogging, purgatory, grinding us down until we become full-time roadies.


Thursday 3rd January 2013 13.5 miles, 1,358ft ascent. Ride map
The third day of the new year saw a hardy crew shivering at a breezy Birk Brow car park, just us, even the sandwich van had decided to give it a miss. Remarkably, it wasn’t raining, which by the standard of the past few weeks was a definite advantage. Our route took us on tarmac to Robin Hood’s Butts, which is close to becoming Robin Hood’s canal, kayaks would be more useful than mountain bikes to navigate some of the ‘puddles’ which have appeared this winter/autumn/summer (delete as applicable). Another short road section took us to a bridleway leading to Clitherbecks Farm, the paved section of the bridleway was unfortunately rather shorter than I remembered, the remainder being ‘challenging’ to say the least. Other descriptions were used by those prepared to say the most. A further bridleway contours more amenably around Castleton Pits bringing us to an exciting descent at Oakley Side prior to the main excitement of the ride - The Stonehouse Bakery. Suitably satiated, we, not without some reluctance, left the bakery and contemplated the many feet of vertical ascent between us and our destination but first we had the mainly horizontal Danby Park to traverse, a mile or so of pretty much continuous mud, a truly thigh-busting effort which was harder than the road climb back to Three Howes Rigg. From the Rigg we branched off onto the mercifully paved Quakers Causeway across Stanghow Moor, arriving back at the car park at the same time as an unscheduled rain shower.


Friday 4th January 2013 31.5 miles, 1,309ft ascent. Ride map
The next day was mud-free but only because it was a road ride taking in the little villages north of Billingham, a chance for The Pensioner to have an inaugural ride on his new carbon roadie bike. No mud, no dramas, just pedal, pedal, pedal, wait on the corner for The Pensioner, pedal, pedal, pedal some more. At one point we had some semblance of a pace line going on (or four fifths of us did). Naturally, Jordan, being the youngest, had to stay on the front for most of it, while we tailed him, behaving like the blatant wheel suckers we obviously are. The cafe stop was Thorpe Thewles station, or Wynyard Woodland Park, or whatever it's called this week. It'll always be Castle Eden Walkway to me, where I spent many hours in the playground, hanging from the monkey bars, attracting strange glances from the general public, probably because I was about 40 years old at the time. Anyway, it's a canny scran stop, reasonable prices and decent portions.


Friday 11th January 2013 45.8 miles, 1,460 ft ascent. Ride Details
So, the first ‘proper’ road ride for 4 months and it dawned suitably grey and dull, The Pensioner and I met Les in Norton prior to negotiating our way through Stockton to the Audi garage at Preston Farm, not being cashpoint cripples or indicator phobics we didn’t bother going in, just contented ourselves with meeting Oz and The Ginger One. The Ginger One was losing his road riding virginity today and already whining about his battered buttocks. A steady and quite disciplined group ride along the cycletracks through Ingleby Barwick to the Fox Covert , then we headed for Hilton, led by The Pensioner, who’s obviously set to be joining Lance Armstrong on the Oprah Winfrey show anytime soon, letting us all in on the secrets of his doping regime.  On the short but steep hill into Hutton Rudby we were shocked when The Ginger One coasted past, having finally figured out the gears on his new bike. By the time we reached Great Broughton his enthusiasm was waning and he was dropping off the back, in deference to his novice status the pace ought to have been reduced to something more amenable, in reality everyone sprinted between junctions where we waited for him to catch up, usually pointing out he was being destroyed by people twice his age or asking if he’d had a puncture, stopped for a wee, three course lunch, holiday in Eygypt, round the world cruise. At his lowest point he confessed to an affinity with The Captain. We rolled into Great Ayton and disaster struck - No. 5 Coffee House shut! Suggitts fulfilled our nutrition requirements adequately but we were always in fear of being outed as incognito mountainbikers by the numerous proper cyclists who frequent Suggitts. Moving down the street we managed to idle away another half hour or so in Biketracks, being tempted by the shiny things, before riding back to Teesside via Tanton, Seamer, Maltby, then reversing our outward route from the Fox Covert.


Monday 14th January 2013 19.5 miles, 996 ft ascent. Ride map
In deference to the weather forecast - heavy snow and the end of civilisation as we know it (if the Daily Express’ increasingly alarmist headlines are to be believed), we decided to be a bit sensible and have an urban mountainbike ride. That’s urban not urbane, no ride featuring The Pensioner could ever be considered urbane, profane maybe but never urbane. We began pedalling in light snowfall, along Norton’s Station Road and down into a hinterland of stables, farms and smallholdings only accessible by some very rough tracks, up The Stony Bank - scene of my first ever biking injury, involving bricks, blood and a desire never again to listen to people who tell you ‘not to use the brakes on this bit’. We picked up tarmac again on the back road from Billingham to Thorpe Thewles, turning off through The Golden Gates into the Wynyard Estate, formerly Lord Londonderry’s Estate before it was sold to property developer Sir John Hall. The original hall built in the 1820’s, is now an impressive hotel which probably wouldn’t have appreciated two mud-splattered scruffs rolling up for morning coffee, so we rode on through Wynard village, originally a couple of streets of cottages for the estate workers, now an estate of executive housing built around a faux village which looks as though it was designed by someone from the Disney Corporation working from 1930’s pictures of english villages. A grim half mile along the busy A689 followed until we reached the Castle Eden Walkway ( or whatever they call it now), and the Sustrans National Cycle Network Route 1, significantly more snow here than back in Billingham, we plodded on to the cafe which was thankfully open and dripped mud and water all over the floor as the staff questioned our sanity. Returning to the outside world was harsh but we pedalled onward still following NCN Route 1, through Thorpe Thewles then off-road, on a less than salubrious track, which occasionally features the odd burnt out car, or some cider-drinking smackheads from the nearby estate; today it looked almost picturesque blanketed in snow. Some more cycle tracks eventually brought us to Darlington Lane and ultimately to The Pensioners house which completed the circle.


Tuesday 15th January 2013 5.5 miles, 801 ft ascent. Ride map
Yesterday’s ‘being a bit sensible’ turned out to be nothing more than an aberration and after battling through a gridlocked Middlesbrough, we were assembling bikes in Pinchinthorpe Visitor Centre car park, all on the flimsy premise that the forecast was ‘a bit better than yesterday” Supposedly sunny intervals and no further snow showers. Half a mile later we were being followed by a sky the colour of a battleship which dumped huge flakes on us for the remainder of the ride. Undaunted we battled along the fireroads with the vague plan of making our way up The Unsuitables and across Newton Moor before finding a way back the car park. The higher we went, the deeper the snow became, pedal, pedal, push became push, push, pedal, fall off, push. At The Unsuitables’ crossroads it became clear gaining any further height would involve the sort of arduousness process operators instinctively shy away from, a unanimous decision was agreed (without any actual verbal communication) and we began descending on The Blue Route, which was entertaining to say the least. Just to get some pedalling in we returned via the road from Hutton Village, this was not without incident, especially for The Pensioner who’s zigzag cycling style is not really suited to staying in vehicle tracks through the snow and ice. It’s lucky there was no traffic on the road. Pretty soon we were safely in The Purple Mountain Cafe, tucking into beans on toast.

Monday 21st January 2013. 23 miles, 1,248 ft ascent. Ride map
The winter continues, as do the weather-phobic riders, only The Pensioner and me out today for another urban mountainbike ride, starting pretty much the same as last Monday’s except we found a way to the walkway through Wynyard rather than risking the A689. This week’s snow was deeper, wetter, stickier and more icy than last week, there was no cruising for all of the 23 miles. After the cafe at the old Thorpe Thewles station, we followed cycletrack all the way, passing through some of Stockton’s estates, eventually coming to a tunnel under the A66 which led us to a railway crossing at the rear of Andy’s bread factory, where he was allegedly beavering away, satisfying the nation's appetite for yeast leavened comestibles. Continuing onward we made our way to our road ride meet point at the Audi garage, from where we rode home via Stockton centre and the Tees Barrage. At one point we passed a bingo hall which amazingly enough has what can only be described as a smoker cage attached, a metal structure, open to the elements,  filled with bingo machines, one arm bandits and despite the sub-zero temperature, smokers, polluting the lungs of us passing athletes with the waste from their pitiful habit.


Monday 28th January 2013. 14 miles, 1232 ft ascent. Ride map
The thaw has begun, morasse is the word of the week. Andy suggested we needed to ride somewhere firm underfoot, so a Scaling Dam start was proposed and accepted. Driving up Birk Brow we ought to have taken a hint from the 4 feet snow drifts at the side of the road, Scaling Dam car park being more snow than car park should have given us another clue of what was to come. With nothing other than the casual observation “There’s a bit more snow up here than at home...” We set off along the road to High Tranmire Farm but not for long as the road soon disappeared into the surrounding moorland, no trace other than a rough 4x4 track through the heather. And so began our first session of push/carry/ride/slide which went on for a couple of miles until we reached tarmac again at Green Houses, the ford at Hardale Beck was in spate, leaping across the beck at it’s narrowest point did not furnish us with any ‘You’ve Been Framed’ moments but the steep descent leading to the beck would have done if I’d been filming, Andy and The Pensioner both took turns in the ditch. At Green Houses some hasty route replanning was done and the remainder of the ride became a predominantly tarmac affair, road along Oakley Walls to the off road descent at Oakley Side - oddly bereft of snow or ice, then Duck Bridge and another deluge. A haul up to Danby Castle - just for the exercise - then we turned right and took the road to Ainthorpe, continuing into Danby and the mandatory stop in The Stonehouse Bakery for a spot of calorific overindulgence, just as the forecast rain arrived. Not without some reluctance we left the warmth of the cafe and headed North up the road, greatly assisted by the wind, until we reached the moor road, or the A171 for non-locals. A strong crosswind, patches of snow and ice and HGV’s all conspired to make the fast downhill to Scaling  a pretty terrifying mile or so before we reached the safety of the sailing club. From the club we rode along the wide grassy top of the dam, with the crosswind threatening to push us over the edge, a large section of the reservoir was frozen, the ice rippled and buckled like arctic pack ice. Safely back amongst the snow drifts in the car park, we knew it had been a doddle really, we’d managed to scrape 14 miles out of a day which most people wouldn’t leave the settee for.

Tuesday 29th January 2013. 24.5 miles, 1211 ft ascent. Ride map
Pretty much the same route as Monday 21st, except I rode my cyclocross bike and there was significantly less snow and ice. The cross bike worked well in the deep muddy sections in Wynyard Woods, The Pensioner, on his mountain bike, was soon reduced to perspiring, pushing and profanity not necessarily in that order. The perspiring should hardly have been a surprise considering he was wearing more layers than a hobo who’s just raided a charity shop clothing skip, topped off with waterproof coat and waterproof trousers plus gloves and two Buffs. “I don’t like to feel the cold...” he said. He probably couldn’t have felt a gunshot through all that lot. Without the snow everything was a lot easier and we knocked 30 minutes off our previous time without trying, again we tried to spot Andy working as we passed the Warburtons factory but he must have been indoors playing with his buns or something.

Terra Trailblazers. January 2013 riding from John Lavelle on Vimeo.