5th. First ride of the year and the same as the first ride of last year, a nice blast over the tops to Kildale caff and back through the woods. That was the plan anyway, soon thwarted by the foot of snow covering our route. Gamely we hauled up the steps and onto Round Hill were it became apparent we were not going to Kildale, at least not in the daylight hours we had remaining. Plan B came into operation - down the track to Medd Crag, Raisdale Road to Lordstones then make our way back to Clay Bank. At the junction adjacent to the highest point of the moors - naturally there were only three idiots on mountain bikes at the highest point of the North York Moors on the snowiest day for many winters - Simon’s free hub decided to pack in leaving us no choice but to initiate plan C, ride downhill to Medd Crag then follow the bridleway along the western edge of Urra Moor, back to the top of the steps. The ride down to Medd Crag was interesting to say the least, steering being out of the question, more a barely controlled slide down to the junction while Simon ran along behind us pushing his bike, like an annoying younger brother who won‘t be left out of the game. After regrouping we tried the old hot urine trick on the recalcitrant free hub, which actually worked but only briefly. We carried, rode, fell off, pushed our way along the bridleway, back to the top of the steps to the “Horse and bike riders advised to dismount” sign. Ignoring the sage advice from the wooden nanny, we managed to ride down the majority of the descent without recourse to the air ambulance. And that was the first, shortest, slowest, fastest, most injury free ride of the year over. Let’s hope the remainder of the year is an improvement.

9^th. If you’ve ever seen the TV programme, Ice Road Truckers, you’ll know where this is coming from. A fairly routine scrounge about from Pinchinthorpe to Kildale and back became a test of nerve and courage as we battled our way through trails which wouldn’t have been out of place on a curling rink. Once we left the muddiness that is Guisborough Woods, caused by the pine tree harvesting, (don’t worry though, it’s only planned to be going on for the next fifty years, I can’t wait for the day I ride up there as a 99 year old and say “Phew I’m glad that’s over, let‘s get the trails back to normal”) the ice became apparent, the steps up to Newton Moor were practically impassable, especially to three clowns carrying bikes and wearing smooth-soled cycling shoes. Once on Newton Moor, the riding became no easier, the track to the top of Guissy Woods proving a test of balance, nerve and technique, it goes without saying we were found lacking in all departments, no one made it to the woods without some variety of pain or humiliation. We did manage to ride up and down Percy Cross Rigg without incident, however a tragic combination of frozen ruts and overconfidence on Great Ayton Moor removed a fair portion of the skin from my right shin. A brave attempt was made to ride up the track from Gribdale to Captain Cooks Monument but the glass-like surface made even the slightest incline into a track-standing competition. Admitting defeat we took the fire road before the monument, through Coate Moor Woods, this proved to be the most glass-like yet, unrideable despite being horizontal, this didn’t stop us trying of course, helped by the fact the surface was equally difficult to walk on. Progress was further hindered by the numerous cartoon falls which ensued, rendering us helpless with laughter. Somehow we reached the tarmac at Pale End Plantation and began a rather more cautious than usual descent through Bankside Farm to the welcoming warmth of Glebe Cottage.

Refreshed we made our way back onto Percy Cross Rigg via New Row, then down to Sleddale and over Codhill Heights - a mostly rideable Codhill Heights, to Guisborough Woods, where we fought our way through mud, ice and logging detritus to the start of the Lover’s Lane track which was in surprising good condition compared to the other tracks we’d been on today, a little slippery on the tree roots but otherwise a nice bit of track. All that remained was the bottom track to Hutton Village and back to Pinchinthorpe, another painfully slow and painfully painful ride over. Ice Road Truckers - pah, let’s see ‘em do it on two wheels.

16^th. After snow and ice, what more could we expect but mud? Sticky, cloying, treacle-like mud, perhaps not the best day for Captain Slow, Commander Of The Cannondale Push to tear himself away from carrying the wife’s shopping bag and resume his cycling career. Especially a day so dark and dreary as today with steady drizzle and mist covering the hilltops. The 4 miles from Lordstones to Clay Bank along The Fronts was perhaps ridden marginally more speedily than, say, a paraplegic sloth whose electric wheelchair batteries have gone flat but definitely slower than should be discussed in public, especially on a cycling website. In fact, I’m sure certain members of our party would rather admit to being weekend transvestites than confess how long that 4 miles took. Reaching the B1257 we reviewed our route plan (as if we actually had one) which mainly consisted of going up the steps to Urra Moor then reversing the bridleway we’d done in the snow on the first ride of the year. The sheer verticality of it all had Chris scurrying for the cafe via a road option of his own devising while we shouldered the bikes and plodded up the steps. The bridleway started well, nice singletrack along the edge of the moor before reverting to the more normal mud and pushing option we’re so used to. At Medd Crag we descended to Bilsdale Hall and Chop Gate on a muddy but at least rideable bridleway before following Chris’s wheel tracks up the Raisdale Road to Lordstones and some welcome refreshment.

26^th. Ten days since our last adventure and we’re once again battling through North Yorkshire’s finest mud, even the Guisborough Woods fire roads are inches deep in the stuff now. We had arranged to meet Guisborough local and process trainee, Li’l Chris but obviously being out of bed before 10:30 on his days off was too much to contemplate, as his “still in bed, not coming” reply to our enquiring text message proved. In a burst of energy unknown to The Terra Trailblazers, we made it a whole mile before the first stop, which was a long one, while a maintenance defect to one of Chris’s jockey wheels was rectified. Once more unto the breach and all that , we made our way up the fire roads destroyed by caterpillar tracked vehicles and out onto an equally muddy Roseberry Common before splashing across Newton Moor and down to Gribdale. The “ride the rim” challenge around the gate in the bridleway was only completed by 50% of our party, the remainder choosing to ignore the high line in favour of slithering round the gate on foot like beaten curs. Over the road at Gribdale and the fire road up to Captain Cook’s was perhaps the most amenable bit of track we’d done all day and the fire road across Coate Moor actually succumbed to a bit of big ring action, a quick plummet down tarmac and we were once again enjoying the hospitality of Glebe Cottage.

Our repast was followed by the usual drag up New Row, followed by Percy Cross Rigg, past the wartime building and down to Guisborough Woods, time was starting to get on a bit now and Chris needed to be back in Redcar for some unspecified reason, he’d probably found a pound coin and couldn’t wait to spend it in one of the many pound shops his town is renown for, so we hit The Unsuitables for a genuine, eyes watering, brakes burning, sphincters fluttering, downhill blast which cost the team at least two sets of brake pads. In fact it’s debateable whether it was Simon’s brakes which stopped him at the bottom or the recently installed metal gate. Looking like spectators who’d been a little to close to the action in a mud wrestling match, we made our way back to Pinchinthorpe relieved to have done our first ride this year which involved more pedalling than pushing.