5^th The first day of our Peak District break and predictably the recent good weather took a turn for the worst, a steady drizzle all the way down the M1 continued along the Hope Valley and into a deserted car park at Edale. Some time later Howard joined us having taken the scenic route via Manchester or Liverpool owing to a misplaced Sat Nav. Enthusiasm decreasing as the rain increased, we kitted up and headed for our first climb of the day, a minor Peaks test piece known as Jacob’s Ladder, Howard determined to beast the ascent into submission. As it turned out only a team of civil engineers and several hundred tonnes of tarmac would’ve been able to bring Jacob’s Ladder within our ability. At least we had a long descent to look forward to on the other side, straight into the wind and rain but a descent is a descent, we hadn’t reckoned on the terrain being rather rougher than we were used to, suitcase sized blocks of gritstone all the way down the hill, with wheel trapping gaps and face-planting drop-offs interspersed with fist-sized gravel sections. Sheltering behind a wall for a banana stop, as the biting wind whistled over our heads and the rain seeped through our clothes, Howard unsuccessfully attempted to convince us it was better than Spain, where it would be too hot and too dry. We remained unconvinced. Ascending from Coldwell Clough the weather began to improve, becoming almost pleasant for the rocky track contouring The Roych and Rushup Edge the tracks became more amenable for a the ascent of Mam Tor and soon we were at Hollins Cross contemplating our ultimate descent, which was a nice, grassy downhill with the odd drop-off to keep things interesting. Back at the cars we wrung out our sodden clothes before making our way back eastward to our B&B for the next two nights, a bit superior to the usual house conversion - an actual stately home, Wortley Hall, which was doing a special deal for cyclists (and walkers) £22.50 per night. Worth every penny, excellent food at reasonable prices, a bar and a games room with full-size snooker table, which gave Simon the opportunity to impress with his broad range of excuses for his lack of prowess at the table. Everything from the thickness of the baize to the chalk not being from a specific quarry in Mississippi was greeted with disdain by us rank amateurs.

6^th As befits a stately home our breakfast was a stately affair, involving uniformed staff and more calories than our recommended daily intake, just what we needed to set us for another day a grinding ascents and equally abrasive descents as the grit gave our brakes and drive-trains a thorough beasting. Every turn of the cranks and squeeze of the brake levers was measured in pence. Today’s route was The Stanage Round taken from the book Dark Peak Mountain Biking and the weather was slightly kinder to us today, with just a few (very heavy) showers to contend with. The route is nicely varied, taking in forest and moor, with a fair bit of tarmac, the highlights of the day had to be when a herd of deer jumped over a wall in front of us and the descent from Stanage Edge, option B in the book, allegedly the easier of the two options; a rubble strewn chute which rearranged our internal organs and quite probably had a dramatic effect on our reproductive capabilities. The more important matter of post-ride refreshment was solved by the welcome sight of a car park coffee van just waiting to dispense quality coffee to cold, wet mountain bikers. We tried to persuade the owner to follow us on all our rides but he seemed strangely reluctant.

7^th The last day of our mini-break and the first day of sunshine and blue sky. Leaving our cars littering the stately home car park we rode to Wharncliffe Woods via the Trans Pennine Trail which runs very close to Wortley. The car park at Wharncliffe, starting point for the routes was easy to find, the routes less so, despite the detailed description in the Dark Peak Mountain Biking guidebook, it seems the majority of the trail markers have been purloined as souvenirs, we spent some time comparing forest features with the map and riding down tracks that were blatantly not Black routes before finding some of the good stuff. We played around on these tracks for a while, gradually making our way to the bottom of the woods, where another branch of the Trans Pennine Trail returns to Wortley. There were no takers for riding back to the top of the woods and attempting to find the missing routes, so a fire road blast soon saw us, despite this morning’s breakfast, at the Wortley tea room ingesting some essential (?) nutrients to keep us going for the drive back to Teesside.

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12^th Back on home turf and Howard’s last ride before recommencing the never-ending quest for fossil fuel. After the abject failure on Jacob’s Ladder he was determined to conquer something, which is how me and Simon found ourselves panting up the Ingleby Incline in his wake, having rode from Clay Bank along the (still wet and muddy) top track through Greenhow Plantation. In true Terra Trailblazers style, two thirds of us capitulated at the gate but Howard continued pedalling upward like a man who wouldn’t be getting any cycling for the next month. Needless to say an extended banana stop was required at the summit prior to a pleasant run over the high moors to Tripsdale and it’s awesome descent and equally gruesome ascent. We then descended some more, to Chop Gate via East Bank plantation, the short, steep run-in to the plantation proving something of a test piece to Simon who managed to fall off three times in almost as many metres. A tarmac climb up the Raisdale road had to be done for the café stop, suitably refreshed, all that remained was a pleasant blast along The Fronts back to Clay Bank.

14^th Once again the weather reverted to unseasonably cold but at least it stayed dry for me and Austin to have a wander over the moors from Carlton Bank, eventually descending Trennet Bank to Chop Gate. A bit of tarmac followed by a pleasant run along the fronts and we were back at Lordstones .

18^th Eager to introduce Simon and Austin to the delightful singletrackery rode by me and Howard last month in Guisborough woods, we defied the showery forecast and left Kildale in bright sunshine, making our way over Codhill Heights and into Guisborough woods. The first bits of singletrack were judged a great success, the climb back up to Highcliffe was less popular but a necessary evil. Resting at the crossroads, a few spots of rain marred our otherwise perfect existence, so we plunged into the woods along the Black Route, seeking shelter from the trees (while they still exist), we soon found ourselves requiring more shelter than mere trees can provide. As our route ventured on to open ground the heavens opened with the sort of torrential downpour more often encountered in tropical hurricanes, the ground beneath our feet became a stream bed, waterfalls tumbled down inclines, boughs bowed with the weight of water. We sheltered underneath inadequate branches, rivulets finding pathways through to bare skin as the tempest reigned; soon the sole topic of conversation became the quickest route back to Kildale. Eventually we broke cover and made our slip sliding way to the top of The Unsuitables and out onto Percy Cross Rigg, the rain kindly solidifying to hail as the full force of the wind drove into our faces. Needless to say the café couldn’t come soon enough.

26^th More singletracking across our universe, joined today by young Sean on his half term, still irritatingly fit and enthusiastic, in complete contrast to the rest of us. He showed us up by pulling wheelies on the hills we were panting to pedal up and attempting to ride up everything no matter how technical or steep. If only the same could be said of Captain Slow who graced us with a rare visit, his more usual mode of transport these days having a real captain and a crew of Filipinos to cater for his every whim. Our route followed a rough figure of eight, leaving Kildale and heading toward Roseberry Topping via Coate Moor and Newton Moor, returning through Guisborough Woods and Codhill Heights to Kildale, where we (me and Sean) managed to shake off the old-timers (Chris and Oz). After the café break us young’uns made our way up through Little Kildale to Warren Farm, across The Field Of Heavy Gravity and over the moor to Baysdale, where a bit of blundering about through gorse bushes brought us to Baysdale Abbey and a testing climb on tarmac which is rewarded with a couple of miles of descent back to Kildale.

29^th Only Sean and me today, the thought of two rides in the same week obviously too much for the remainder of our little gang. Allegedly the hottest day of the year, it certainly felt like it as we plodded up the side of Carlton Bank on tracks unaccustomedly dry and dusty. We made our way to Scugdale and Heathwaite and the steep climb up through Clain Woods, not made any easier by the blazing sun. Sean was less than impressed with the scenic tracks across Whorlton Moor, broad and undulating, lacking the technical interest of singletrack and the adrenalin rush of steep downhills. The rocky plunge down Barker’s Ridge cheered him up a bit, then the final blast back down our initial climb brought the ride to satisfactory conclusion.