Our first ride of the month was from Clay Bank, leaving a pleasantly sunny Teesside we drove along the B1257 into a different world, a pall of black cloud hung over Clay Bank and Urra Moor. Soon we were trudging up the Carr Ridge steps into the same cloud, the wind in our faces trying to push us back down the slope. Round Hill, the highest point on the North York Moors was barely visible as we passed by. Things improved crossing Greenhow and Ingleby Moors, by the time we reached Kildale the sun reappeared and we returned to Clay Bank via Bank Foot and Battersby Plantation, the day having turned to something better than the summer.

Another run to Hamsterley today, in view of the recent damp and dismal weather - so recent it was still lashing down as we entered the car park - a mudless route was required. Sticking mainly to the newer tracks we fitted in Section 13, Transmission, Accelerator and a few others as the weather underwent an unimaginable improvement. More winter sunshine to justify turning out on such an unpromising day. No day at Hamsterley is complete without a whiz around the Skills Loop, The Pensioner was whipping along some North Shore in fine style, when he suddenly and inexplicably took the ‘over the bars’ option, followed by the ‘shoulder brake’ option. Remarkably unscathed, despite ending up in the ditch at the side of the track, he continued in a style more befitting someone in his seventh decade. Needless to say, pleas for a repeat for the camera were refused in a manner which would have brought a blush to Roy Chubby Brown’s cheeks. Later he gave us a demonstration of frugality by washing his bike in the river to save a £1. We finished the day with blue skies and a new café, the A68 diner just outside Toft Hill, which easily gained the Terra Trailblazers seal of approval with it’s tempting menu and friendly service.

Slipping in another before nights quicky, me and The Pensioner found ourselves at a suspiciously empty visitor car park at Pinchinthorpe. When we bothered to read the various notices plastered about, we realised why - a parking ticket machine has suddenly appeared. No wonder the car park at Gribdale is always packed nowadays. Dull, grey, cold but perversely enjoyable sums up the ride which took in The Unsuitables, Percy Cross Rigg, Gribdale, Captain Cooks Monument, Lonsdale Plantation, Sleddale and back to Guisborough Woods. Riding up the Codhill Heights bridleway The Pensioner found himself the leader of a procession of 4WD vehicles trundling onto the moor to blast lead at a few grouse. Muddier than the muddiest people in mud land, we sampled some of the Purple Mountain Café’s finest confectionary before returning home, one of us to a twelve hour night shift, the other to settee, TV and wine.

The weather theme continues to be mediocrity, grey and drizzly yet again. Leaving Sheepwash we climbed steadily to Square Corner and somewhat less steadily up The Mad Mile. The loose and slippy surface ensured it was a flawed ascent (as always). From the top we continued southward along The Drove Road to Whitestones, then in a change from normal procedure, we went along the newly resurfaced Locker Bank track, following it downhill - not without some excitement, loose, slippy rock combined with imprudent velocity - to the eastern end of the Dale Head Singletrack. The rocky surface claimed an inner tube from The Pensioner and several hours of mine and Oz’s lives as we waited for him to fix it. Eventually mobile again we dragged ourselves up Arnesgill Ridge and across to Scugdale, where we descended the muddy, rutted B.O.A.T., straight into another shoot. We halted until The Pensioner caught us up, then sent him ahead to draw fire. Reaching Swainby unscathed at 2pm, we were devastated to find the café has reverted to winter opening hours, closed between half one and three and the two pubs both close at two. Cue much ill-tempered grumbling from the elderly one, particularly when we pointed out the length of time he took fixing his puncture was directly attributable to our lack of sustenance. Hungrily we made our way back to Sheepwash finishing the ride in calorie deficit, a rare occurrence for us.

These before nights quickies are becoming more regular. Me and Howard lashed out the quid each to park at Pinchinthorpe and made our way along fire-roads to the top of The Unsuitables, without recourse to the usual NSP’s (natural stopping points) - this is what happens when you ride with someone younger and fitter than the usual TTB demographic. Quite sunny today and less muddy than of late, surfaces a bit draggy. Some old favourite tracks eventually led us to Captain Cook’s Monument where a breather was definitely called for before we continued down, then back up to Percy Cross Rigg before ascending Codhill Heights which brought us back into Guisborough Woods. A bit more fire road, the last bits of Les’s downhill and we were soon getting stuck into Biker Bars in The Purple Mountain Café.

The Captain reappeared for his monthly venture outdoors, tearing himself away from whatever occupies the majority of his rest days. Rest obviously being the operative word. Just a wander round some of the old favourites from Kildale, ending up at Captain Cooks Monument before returning to Kildale.

Another trip to Hamsterly, even doing the same route as last time and just as enjoyable. The Pensioner managed the whole ride without damaging any part of his aging body, which makes a change.

Four seasons in one day and we suffered them all. We left Kildale in bright sunshine, rain appeared as we crested Kildale Moor, wind and rain pushed us along Baysdale, we rode tarmac to Percy Cross Rigg and the sun returned. Pausing at our usual NSP (Natural Stopping Point) on Codhill Heights, waiting for The Pensioner to catch up, we were, quite literally, battered by hailstones, their size and velocity causing an entirely proportionate outpouring of profanity, punctuated with the odd girly scream. Five minutes later a wintry sun reappeared which did nothing to warm our wet and frozen carcasses. In the shelter of Guisborough Woods, an ascent of The Unsuitables got the blood flowing again.

Another scrounge about Guisborough Woods and the Captain Cook’s Monument area for us today. Again it was very windy but mainly dry. Curiously the tracks are beginning to dry up again. Returning to Pinchinthorpe we were dismayed to find the café inexplicably shut, one of the visitor centre staff told us the café will be closed Mondays “and probably Tuesdays” for the winter. Somewhere else that doesn’t want our money.

Lordstones, The Purple Mountain Café, Swainby Tearoom, Hamsterley Forest Tearooms, what have they all got in common? Either closed for winter or only opening intermittently during the winter, some of them can’t even be arsed to put a sign up letting customers know. Looks like we’ll be sticking to the reliable cafes, Glebe Cottage and Hawnby for North Yorkshire, The A68 Diner for Hamsterley.