The Pensioner is still suffering from the injuries he sustained at the end of last month - and if he’s suffering we’re all suffering. The first ride of October was perpetual moaning rather than perpetual motion as we made our way from Lordstones across Bilsdale West Moor and onward so Andy could ride down Trennet Bank for the first ever time. It was kind of slippy, numerous falls were sustained - mainly by me - on the descent. We made our way back via Urra and The Fronts.

The following day me and Howard took ourselves to a surprisingly dry Hamsterley for a quick blast around all the old favourites, Transmission, Section 13, Route 666, Special K, Brainfreeze and other nameless tracks. And the café was open, what more could we want?

Our next ride featured a new starting point, Birk Brow, or Guisborough Bank as it’s known to the Darlo Boy (and apparently to everyone else in Darlington, the town that time forgot). The in-situ beef burger van is considered a bonus by several members of our team. The easiest Terra Trailblazers ride ever was planned in honour of The Captain’s return, 15 miles and a mere 1250 ft of ascent: he didn’t turn up. We decided to give ourselves a relaxing day and do the ride anyway. Making our way on bridleways to Danby and the highlight of the ride, The Stonehouse Bakery, with it’s myriad of sweet and savoury temptations, a cornucopia of calories, a willpower wilting smorgasbord of carbohydrate goodness designed to refuel our honed, athletic, bodies for the return leg. It did feature the only significant ascent of the ride, up Three Howes Rigg to The Quakers Causeway, a paved path running across Stanghow Moor, built by mediaeval monks, apparently to give them access to the butty van in Birk Brow car park. The paved sections provide a rough but mud-free route across the moor back to Birk Brow and a good workout for the rear suspension on our bikes.

Another Birk Brow start for this ride too and the biggest turn out since the xmas dinner ride, all seven of us. A similar route to the previous ride with an 8 mile extension in the middle, taking in Danby Crags, Fairy Cross Plain and Ainthorpe Rigg, returning us once again to the Stonehouse Bakery. Momentarily forgetting his reputation, we let the Darlo Boy guide us for a short section of track, at a point where we had a choice of ways, naturally he chose the soft option which turned into a muddy hell very quickly. Eventually we reached the end, saw the track we ought to have been on, the nice, mud-free, downhill. Would it be too much of a painful pun to say his name was mud?

The Captain reappeared for a ride from Kildale, around Guisborough Woods and Captain Cooks Monument. We’re convinced The Captain’s bike features a tilt switch designed to eject him from the seat if it moves ten degrees from horizontal in either direction, such is the proportion of time he spends besides his Cannondale Push. It is becoming slippy in the woods, falls were enjoyed by us all. Most spectacular was at Captain Cooks Monument when the Darlo Boy was blown over as he tried to mount his bike, luckily there was a video camera running at the time and the clip does feature in this month’s film.

A before nights quicky from Gribdale was the next outing, just me and The Pensioner on the sunniest day of the month. The dire weather predictions from the front pages of The Daily Express have yet to come true, thankfully.

The Captain showed up for the second time in the same month, so we took it pity on him and did the easy ride from Birk Brow from earlier in the month. A definite NPNG ride (No Pushing. No Grannyring), well, for everyone except The Captain. Waiting for him at corners and summits involves much speculation as to his whereabouts, ranging from general lack of fitness, through punctures and mechanicals to strokes and cardiac arrest. Just as we begin drawing lots to decide who gets his car and who gets his bike, he appears, legs turning at a leisurely pace, never breathless, never sweating, seemingly baffled as to why we’re all stood about on a mountain bike ride.